Where’d You Go?

This pretty much sums up my brain at the moment.  It’s like the words are there but nothing is coming forward. So much so I haven’t even updated my blog in at least a month, because, well, because the words just weren’t there. They still aren’t really there if I’m honest but I am taking a leaf out of that large writers book which says “write something, anything” Just get that ball rolling again. It’s just this is not how I write. The words come to me, not me to them. It seems forced, like I am holding my muse hostage with a gun to its throat and saying “write something awesome or else!” And that just isn’t me, and yet I am trying, at least whispering  (or should that be whimpering?) threateningly in it’s ear.

My pages are lonely for words, much like my head. I fear there is too much noise from other things going on in there. It’s hard for a writer not to write. It’s torturous! Yet I sit down to write, pen and paper out, absolute silence. But even the silence is a distraction, it’s too quiet! Ugh, I hate to say I have the worst case of writers block ever, but it sure feels like that at the moment.

I have essay deadlines looming next month and yet I still can’t put pen to paper, not for any length of time anyway. I am flitting from one thing to another, full of distractions but not really fulfilling anything on my to do list. Is this a version of my black dog looming? I am beginning to wonder. The level of “can’t be arsedness” seems to have hit an all time high and I feel like I am fighting against myself in a million different directions. So what is the solution? I have no idea! I guess I keep fighting, keep swimming, one foot in front of the other and all that. The world keeps turning and I will keep dancing along with it, perhaps my muse would prefer a dance rather than a shotgun wedding?

Only time will tell, but one step at a time… At least the blog has finally been updated 🙂