Make Your Own Kind of Music

I have been absent for awhile from my blog mainly because I have felt as if I have been living in a dream this last month. As most of you probably know I have been juggling writing with studying these last few years and have been in hot pursuit of my dream nursing job, a job I thought was out of my reach despite several attempts at getting there and I was resigned to my fate; to having to give up everything I enjoy doing with that whole striving for work/life balance we desperately strive for and go do the job everyone was telling me I should do, but then in a blink of an eye it changed. I reached out my hand and found that dream firmly in my grasp and I haven’t let go of it since!

I admit I’ve been through a roller coaster of emotions and physical adjustments as I get used to working again after 4 years as a student.

It was the words to this song on the radio in Paloma Faith’s version of Barry Mann and Cynthia Weil’s song, Make Your Own Kind of Music which struck a chord with me. Being a writer words stand out for me, their meanings, the depth behind them, how the order of words can completely change their meaning.

“I love to hate you…” ….”I hate to love you…”

The order of words when changed means something different, what’s the story there? Is the first person a bully taking pride in the hurt they are causing another? Perhaps the second is someone who is desperately trying to forget about someone who has caused them hurt and pain but cannot help but be drawn back to them.

So it was that I found myself thinking about the lyrics  of this song…

But you’ve gotta make your own music Sing your own special song, Make your own kind of music even if nobody else sings along. You’re gonna be knowing The loneliest kind of lonely, It may be rough goin’, Just to do your thing’s the hardest thing to do. But you’ve gotta make your own music Sing your own special song,

And how apt they are to me and how much they resonated and perhaps they can do the same for you, sometimes you have to listen to yourself, to your own inner voice.  Now my interpretation may be completely different to what the lyricist intended but I understood what mattered most to me.

I had been at that point of giving up on my dream job (at least for awhile) and listen to what everyone else had been telling me, “go get hospital experience first” when one of my many interviews finally paid off, someone was willing to give me a chance and I have to say the smile has not shifted from my face since, because it’s been a hard fought road, in the words of the song it had been rough going and trying to do what I so desperately wanted was becoming the hardest thing to achieve.

I guess this song also spoke to me on a deeper level, it reminded me of times when I was younger, when others wanted me to follow the crowd, but I was determined to just be me. In a world filled with others whose tunes seemed louder than my own, so much so that I almost found myself dancing along. But despite the shyness and self consciousness that threatened to drown the real me out, I have ended up making my own way, my own music and all I want to do now is dance. It has spurred me into action on another front, my writing, which I had let drift again for a time, but whilst holding onto one dream I am going to reach out for the other passion that drives me, my writing and see what tune appears.

So my advice, just like the words of the song…make your own kind of music, this is your song, your symphony so go make it a beautiful one.