Looking back shows you just how far you have come

Its been a crazy few months of juggling various things and its safe to say I have come out the other side with a few more grey hairs, slightly madder and apparently the high blood pressure to prove that, although in my mind I thought “yeah I got this” my body had other ideas and I have felt absolutely done in this last week.

Yet I have kept going mainly through sheer stubbornness and determination that this girl will not be beaten by anything this year has thrown at her (yes I know I am talking about myself in the third person..I did say I may be a bit madder). The sun will come out somewhere around Christmas time when I can kick off my well worn placement shoes and breathe for a couple of weeks ( well I say breathe, there will be some actual working during that time for which I will be paid huzzah! car tax and mot follows swiftly on Christmas’s heels come January so needs must).  But I have and will survive 2017 with a modicum of sanity left and perhaps a bit more writing done because Bob is still hanging around ( I am pleased to say he hasn’t got fed up of me yet).

Though there has been little time for writing and scribbling down ideas and focusing on my writing has been very far down my to do list these last months, it is still never far from my thoughts. These last few days, I have started paying attention to Bob who has been occasionally waving at me from the sidelines of my chaotic life, a gentle reminder that I really ought to crack on with those novels of mine, will the editing of The Calling ever be finished? (Some days I wonder!). But my determination is still there, the fire was lit awhile ago and it has not dwindled. Neither has my goal with my nursing career, I will get there because I have come too far to go back. We fight for what we believe in like tigers fighting over food or a mother protecting her children because it matters to us more than anything else. The journey may be filled with many bumps and diversions a long the way but we carry on, I feel like I have climbed a few mountains this year but the benefit of reaching the top of the mountain is you can look back and see just how far you have come and smile at all your achievements.

A few years ago, Bob wasn’t talking to me, my pad was dusty and I felt incomplete. Now I feel more focused, Bob won’t shut up and I have gone through several pads of paper, not to mention getting to grips with Twitter, blogging oh and did I mention I have a book out? My inner writer will not be sated with the old excuse that I will get around to it one day like when I retire, no, now it swirls and dances around with the rest of my thoughts pulling me into my writing world like a sanctuary in words, waiting to transport me. This year may have been a crazy ride but the journey and the destination will be worth it in the end.