I am a flitter

I have been doing a lot of self analysing with this blog of mine and I am not ashamed to say I have found a lot of flaws but a few good points too.

Firstly there is the can’t be arsedness, the constant procrastinating, the randomness of my brain, the overly critical eye and the almost constant fear of being forgotten and well generally being me in general!

Another one to add to my ever increasing list is the fact that I am a flitter. Not just in writing. I do it with other stuff too. It’s like I can’t focus for very long on anything anymore. When I was a kid I would play with one thing for hours and hours, but now its like my brain goes “bored now” and it goes off at a tangent. I flit from one project to the next, one hobby to the next. Even one job to the next, like I am a bit lost and not too sure where  or what I should be doing. However at least in the last bit I no longer feel lost. I love what I do now, it’s given me more focus on what is important to me, given me the focus I need to find my writing voice again. Work should not feel like work, we spend so much of our lives doing it. If it feels like work then you are in the wrong job and that is my new mantra.

I am attempting to fight the flaws in my myself, my overly critical eye is being brave by saying sod it and entering competitions. I know a lot of it wont change overnight as it kind of makes me, me, but it doesn’t mean I can’t tweak myself a bit!

It’s been a long journey and there are so many more steps to take and now I am reminded of a quote by confucius.

“It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you don’t stop” confucius

It’s taking me a long time to focus on my writing and on what is important to me and I have no intention of stopping, I am enjoying the journey too much.