A creative Life

I think fear is probably one of my concerns with my writing. Even when it’s not my novel that I am trying to construct. I am currently attempting to write a 4000 word essay as part of my degree and I am struggling. Maybe because it means so much? This is the first piece of writing that I have done on my degree that will now be counted towards my degree classification and that is the most daunting thought of all. My old fears spring forward and stop me putting pen to paper. What if I am no good at this writing after all? What if what I write is absolute tosh and deserves to be put straight into the bin? What if the poor soul marking my work ends up in a depressed spiral because of the ineptitude of my written word bringing forth the realisation that they really should have done something else other than teach and that they have now wasted a portion of their life that they will never get back?

Is it any wonder that I am struggling to write a word on any subject at the moment with all this fear and anxiety cluttering up my brain? Even if my muse was shouting at me with a megaphone somewhere in the midst of it all, I doubt very much that I would hear them right now.

My last night shift is tonight, perhaps in the silence I can quieten some of these thoughts, take a deep breath and write.